Sunday, December 04, 2005

Writing history...

Have you ever asked yourself what can be achieved with great power. What a human being's 'untapped potential' can do? We have only 100 years of life span, maybe more if we're lucky but in that time we achieve nothing.

Yesterday I was watching the cooking channel and decided to simply create something. It was pure inspiration and I achieved a pretty cool result. Than today I wrote my Chem placement test, and it was nice to get that off my shoulders. In ffxi I won a difficult fight, anything one places his mind on and puts his heart into has an opportunity to grow and explode possibilities...

Key word of the day Euphoria

Friday, December 02, 2005

Days go by...

Another day where my for set goals were not met. Tomorow I'm taking the exam for sure, I also found out for certain that I have been denied the job from target which is rather odd. Simultanaously I recieved an old check from ATX for $518. While completly unexpected it allows for me to repay my debts but it does not help my difficult financial position.

I didn't sleep again and ended up staying awake until 4pm since I was to bring mother home. I eventually fell asleep and at 8 I got a phone call to pick her up. I did so and the day is now over. I wrote an awesome crafting guide for a game I'm playing Final Fantasy XI. So it seems I'm back to my old wasted self again...

Days go by...

Angelina Jolie

Yea it's 3 am. Most likly I'll oversleep tomorow but I might just not sleep I guess. I've given up on FFXI and going to try and pick up on some of the old. More lists, more goals:
  • XML
  • Flash
  • Maya
  • Pornography ... ahem

PS: My dream is to marry an Asian Angelina Jolie

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Gilgamesh

I had overslept today. I woke up witht he sound of the creeking door being opened. My father had made his way in at 4 or 5 pm. I made my way to the shower without acknowladging his presence. For his weight he caught up to me rather quickly and had confronted me to come down stairs after I was finished. Already not likling the sound of his voice I was already wide awake with the excess amount of sleep and came down to find rather unpleasent soup waiting for me. Not very enthusiastic I passivly tried it. Him on the other hand, already gloating as if I was being punshised went on to say that my mother was in the hospital. Apparently at eleven today she had been taken in due to high sugar levels in her blood. While I still despise the both of them I couldn't help but not feel concerned or maybe I still wasn't but I asked where is she, how is she, and if I can make my way down to see her today. My father than continued the conversation with "we can't continue things like this ...." Like I didn't know where this was going I had gotten ready to go on the defensive and said "what exactly?" He mumbled the same thing regarding oversleeping and since I had expected this back in the shower I had already prepared an answer. "I didn't simply oversleep, I got over eight hours of sleep." Well I guess it didn't click for him what I implied so he ignored me and continued to yell, critize etc. He managed some low blows about being incompetent, not having a job, and not doing anything while at home. Funny that this is precisly what I planned to do today. Study chem., and work on my chess. Still WHY THE HELL should I answer to someone like him. I've already went through enough of his bullshit and he has not helped me to achieve anything if not act as a major force in deteriorating my success. I ended up being commanded to clear the kitchen which with mother in the hospital I had simply done. The fat bastard didn't bother to clean up his own shit as he proceeded to drive down and return videos. I made haste to clear up sink that was overflowing with THEIR dishes. Including paper plates, and used tea bags that was utterly disgusting.

Sure I could simply do the extra since I had the time, but I refuse. I wasn't ever given a hand in anything and I refuse to do their work and be a maid in their place while they come home to watch tv. Not to mantion it's not my fault I'm not in school right now and well today I called target to find another forward to call back tomorow or monday. Than when I checked the mail I got one of those odd your not accepted letters as in target doesn't want me for night shift. I really don't understand it as I was way overqualified for the job and the interviews went great I was counting on the money. In fact while driving to Saint Mary's Hospital I was thinking of moving out. That still being a thought that I want to take seriously, I have to spend tomorow looking for another job, filling out another 1 hour application at 50 other locations. I might go back to dealing bud at this rate. I mean what else do I have?

I went through some classified adds only to find nothing that deals with computers and programming. While in the hospital I apprantly father wants to start a transportation business. I seriously laughed to myself when I heard his idea. He expects to simply get a loan with my mom's credit history and than hope that it doesn't bankrupt itself. I than thought of my business ideas that I had when I was younger 15-16. Of starting a web hosting service while it was still in it's prime. I got no support for my ideas and wasn't ever taken seriously. Now to hear that crap sickens me.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Tis the season

A few weeks ago I applied to a job at Target. Basically a retail store where I would take on night shift and try and make some money until I couldn't keep up with school anymore. I've yet to hear back from HR regarding when I start but I've already found where I'll be spending my next 10 paychecks.

First I have to get out of debt. Funny how an 18 year old with few expenses has already managed a debt of .5k. I owe $355(speeding ticket through New York State) and $150 December Insurrence.

Than comes the season. In all honesty I don't particularly buy presents for family but this year may be one of my final at home so I might as well. For father I'm thinking of pitching in a bit for a PDA so he can hook up a navigation system. Budget $300-$400. $100-200 on earrings for mother, and $100 dinner for grandparents.

-$505 (debt)
-$350 (PDA)
-$150 (Earrings)
-$100 (Dinner)
-----------------
-$1,105

If I play my cards right I should be out of these debts in two weeks if they give me enough hours.

Anyways I have a wish list of my own once I actually get around to it.
  • Digital Camera
  • MP3 Player
  • Beard Trimmer
  • New Cloth
  • New PC
  • Pay Off Community College
  • Fix the car
  • Tint the windows
  • Save for a trip down to pocinoes

I guess we can't control the future very well. I have my goals, now I'll try to aim for happiness with what I got.

Word of the day.... Fruition

My name is Michael Kofman. I was born in Ukraine, a small town no bigger than King of Prussia mall. I am 18 years old and my birthday is on february 23rd. I came to United States in the blazzing winter of 1995. Due to circumstances I've grown very distant from my parents, and easily adapt to new enviroments. I have not yet figured out what I want to do with my life. An old goal I had was to get freedom to do as I please. For that goal to achieve fruition I've come to realize that I need to be successful and achieve wealth. While I am not yet certain how successful I need to be in order to be happy. This is my journal that I will use to keep myself motivated.

During high school I tried to maintain a balance between an active social life and studies. I always believed I had unlimited potencial, but I couldn't achieve a good university. It was the SATs, I guess that was the first time I was really hurt. My first score was 1020 I think. It's pretty pathetic, I was actually still recovering from a night of drinking the night before, I didn't know how it was possible for myself to score so low. I got scared. I didn't take the new few exams scared of not being improved enough. My next exam I took in october or something like that scoring 1180. Anyways I took em for the third time scoring 1220. My doors to a good school were now officially closed. No matter what collegeboard or princeton review might tell u is a lie. Unless your atleast 100 points above the avg your unlikly to get in without extracuricular activities or other well whatevers. My dream back than was MIT, my goal when I applied was BU. I ended up going to Drexel University. A university I absolutly despised, and still do.

I had to drop out, I couldn't pay for it. Now I'm going to a community college... so much happened... my rant is done. My next step is to do well on a chemistry placement test I'll try my best.