Gilgamesh

I had overslept today. I woke up witht he sound of the creeking door being opened. My father had made his way in at 4 or 5 pm. I made my way to the shower without acknowladging his presence. For his weight he caught up to me rather quickly and had confronted me to come down stairs after I was finished. Already not likling the sound of his voice I was already wide awake with the excess amount of sleep and came down to find rather unpleasent soup waiting for me. Not very enthusiastic I passivly tried it. Him on the other hand, already gloating as if I was being punshised went on to say that my mother was in the hospital. Apparently at eleven today she had been taken in due to high sugar levels in her blood. While I still despise the both of them I couldn't help but not feel concerned or maybe I still wasn't but I asked where is she, how is she, and if I can make my way down to see her today. My father than continued the conversation with "we can't continue things like this ...." Like I didn't know where this was going I had gotten ready to go on the defensive and said "what exactly?" He mumbled the same thing regarding oversleeping and since I had expected this back in the shower I had already prepared an answer. "I didn't simply oversleep, I got over eight hours of sleep." Well I guess it didn't click for him what I implied so he ignored me and continued to yell, critize etc. He managed some low blows about being incompetent, not having a job, and not doing anything while at home. Funny that this is precisly what I planned to do today. Study chem., and work on my chess. Still WHY THE HELL should I answer to someone like him. I've already went through enough of his bullshit and he has not helped me to achieve anything if not act as a major force in deteriorating my success. I ended up being commanded to clear the kitchen which with mother in the hospital I had simply done. The fat bastard didn't bother to clean up his own shit as he proceeded to drive down and return videos. I made haste to clear up sink that was overflowing with THEIR dishes. Including paper plates, and used tea bags that was utterly disgusting.

Sure I could simply do the extra since I had the time, but I refuse. I wasn't ever given a hand in anything and I refuse to do their work and be a maid in their place while they come home to watch tv. Not to mantion it's not my fault I'm not in school right now and well today I called target to find another forward to call back tomorow or monday. Than when I checked the mail I got one of those odd your not accepted letters as in target doesn't want me for night shift. I really don't understand it as I was way overqualified for the job and the interviews went great I was counting on the money. In fact while driving to Saint Mary's Hospital I was thinking of moving out. That still being a thought that I want to take seriously, I have to spend tomorow looking for another job, filling out another 1 hour application at 50 other locations. I might go back to dealing bud at this rate. I mean what else do I have?

I went through some classified adds only to find nothing that deals with computers and programming. While in the hospital I apprantly father wants to start a transportation business. I seriously laughed to myself when I heard his idea. He expects to simply get a loan with my mom's credit history and than hope that it doesn't bankrupt itself. I than thought of my business ideas that I had when I was younger 15-16. Of starting a web hosting service while it was still in it's prime. I got no support for my ideas and wasn't ever taken seriously. Now to hear that crap sickens me.